Are Marriage Counsellors Effective?

Does Professional Help Make A Difference?

Couple therapy fails to work when couples treat the advice superficially. They do not delve deep into their problems and find a workable solution. Superficial effort, may at best work for a year.

These couples hold an antagonistic view of the whole issue for all attempts at making their marriage work had resulted in failure. They have divorced. To be more precise, 38% of the couples divorce in spite of meeting marriage therapists.

In all probability, these couples would have waited long over troubled relationship before seeking professional services. On an average, warring couples wait for 6 years before they plan to seek marital therapy. The relationship might have deteriorated in this period and one of the partners might be intent on getting a divorce. Such couples are deeply distressed over their marital failure and they are not open to advice.

When is Marriage Counselling a Success?

62% of the couples would vouch that their marriage is a success due to the counselling sessions they attended. Why does marital therapy work for some while others fail to benefit from it? Many factors are responsible for the success of marriage therapy.

Professional Advice in the Initial Stage

Couples, who seek professional advice when the marital problems initially surface, tend to benefit immensely. Early counselling prevents the degeneration of relationship beyond recovery point. These couples are still in love. Their enthusiasm to make their marriage a happy union makes them implement the suggestions they receive.

However, some couples do not like to seek external help. Seeking advice of a counsellor involves baring personal problems to a third party. Understandably, this is a difficult proposition. They withhold seeking help when the initial actual need arises and tend to remain in a conflict ridden relationship for long. Much bitterness develops in this process. Ultimately they lose motivation to put in practise the advice they receive. Even extremely capable counsellors prove unsuccessful if the marital partners are not motivated enough.

Motivation

The therapist can only offer advice. Whether the suggestions are helpful is dependant upon the motivational levels of the couple. Marital counselling teaches couples to develop communication skills and the art of solving problems. Learning is easy; putting in practice the lessons learnt is difficult. It is a commonly held belief that women benefit more from the advice offered. However, such statements are not backed by statistical proof. Probably women put in more sincere efforts at working towards the betterment of the relationship. The counselling sessions are a success only if both the spouses are ready to work extremely hard. For, troubled marriages require collective effort to turn it to happier times. Such team work generates health benefits for the spouses and also brings about a change in their children. 63.4% of the couples have enjoyed health benefits while 73.7% indicated betterment in child behaviour.

As mentioned already, marital therapy is successful only if the couples are receptive to the advice offered and solicit the services of the counsellor in the initial stages of trouble. However, couples who felt that the counselling sessions were not a success can seek alternative sources of help

Alternatives to Marital Counselling

Couples who have not benefited from the professional advice offered can try practical workshops or marriage education programs. However, lack of understanding is not the only problem that plagues married people. Some relationships struggle due to deeper problems like depression of a spouse or infidelity. These are problems that require much more than couple therapy to help them.

Efforts at making marriage work have intensified over the last few years. However, couples are also advised to seek immediate help when they sense trouble. Problems assume magnitude over a period of time. Battling spouses should attend sessions with an open mind and the success of their marriage depends on how motivated they are. They should remember that counselling is no quick fix solution to work overnight. Basically, problems between spouses can be solved if they deeply love each other. Dont you think so?